starspangled | Inbox (Eachdraidh)

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Inbox (Eachdraidh)

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[Steve's careful when he answers, looking into Bucky's eyes, only the slightest tensing of his jaw before he answers.]

I didn't see anyone, because he's not really there.

[He's right in front of him.]

[ A part of him wants to ask what Steve says, what the ghost could be indicting him for -- he wants to ask about the guilt, the pain that he sees clear as day in Steve's eyes, and he wonders which is marginally less excruciating to look at: the ghost, or the man?

Or is there any difference at all? James Barnes as he is now must be difficult for Steve to accept, too. But he pays it little mind, knows that they have to move forward, and quickly.

He walks with him, keeping an eye out. ]

Do your ghosts talk to you?

No.

[Just seeing Bucky's smile, the easy way it used to cross his lips, that's more painful than any words ever could be.]

When they do, I try not to listen. [Steve frowns gently at him.] What about you? See anybody?

[ He's quiet for a moment, then. ]

I see them all the time.

[ In his head, or in the hotel -- the only difference is the wallpaper. He looks down at his hands. ]

I've killed a lot of people. [ There's a lump in his throat. ] I thought it was for the greater good.

Bucky.

[Steve stops in the hallway, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. He tries to step in front of Bucky, putting them face to face.]

They didn't give you a chance to think anything else.

[ Bucky stops in his tracks when Steve steps in front of him, and he looks up, his expression one of forced neutrality, of someone working hard to hold it all in together.

And more importantly, of someone who cares about the man before him more than himself. He turns it back on Steve. ]

What do you tell yourself when you see those ghosts?

[Steve lifts his chin a little at that. Bucky knows, he knows the guilt that he carries too. But he can't give up, and his answer reflects that.]

I tell myself that I have to do better today.