starspangled | ic contact (riverview)

[that gives him pause. it's not even something steve did consciously. he doesn't really think about the consequences to himself in general. maybe that's what happened here. maybe.]

Bucky, what happened on the helicarrier...it won't happen again.

You're not answering my question.

[His voice is harder, much less willing to deal with Steve dancing around the topic. Because he knows that what happened on the helicarrier could happen again in the wrong circumstances.]

[steve stares at him for a moment, searching for an answer that can diffuse the tension between them, but one that steve can also live with if it came right down to it.]

If you come at me, I promise I won't hold back.

[He's not sure if that's good enough, but it'll have to be for now, so he just nods and lets himself relax back into the seat a little in a silent reassurance that he's not going anywhere just yet.]

You asked me before to give you a chance to get to know you. That's why I'm here.

[Now that it's safer, now that he knows there's someone who'll step in if he goes for Steve or anyone else around him. His voice lowers, something a little more human appearing in the usually neutral voice.]

I don't remember, but I want to.

That's the first step.

[steve does try to hide his happiness this time. bucky's willingness can't even be called trust yet, but it at least offers a hope for it.]

Where do you want me to start? Brooklyn?

Edited 2017-04-07 00:30 (UTC)

[He shakes his head. He doesn't want to be gifted their whole life stories; partly because he still can't trust that Steve will tell him the full truth, and partly because then he'll always wonder if anything he remembers is a real memory or just wishful imagination from the stories told.]

I remember a train, and then the cold.

[He wants Steve to fill in the gaps of what he's already started to remember, or tell him if what he remembers is even real.]

[so he wants to start there. steve shouldn't be surprised. it could be his last clear memory, or maybe just one that left one hell of an impact on him.]

The day you fell. [steve staves off a grimace.] The day I thought you died. 1945, we were on a mission.

I remember telling them that you would come for me.

[He doesn't think about how much that might hurt Steve to know, it's just another fact to him.]

A few months later, they told me you died.

[it's like a physical kick to the gut. steve clenches his hand into a white-knuckled fist.]

The world thought that I had. I put a plane into the ocean, you might've read about it at the museum. [steve watches him for a moment.] I read about you too.

Yeah.

[They had made James Barnes out to be some sort of hero, resisting torture and then following his best friend until he died, but that felt wrong.]

Why did you do it?

[steve takes a breath to tell him that it wasn't there, that he'd read things in a manila folder that picked up where the museum wall left off. but that also doesn't feel right. the situation is unbalanced. bucky doesn't know enough about him yet, so he focuses on his question instead.]

Plane full of weapons of mass destruction headed for New York City. What else could I do?

Send it down, bail out.

[The reply is almost accusing, angry that Steve had thrown his life away. Why couldn't he have set the plane on course to go into the ocean and then bailed out himself?]

I had to be sure.

[the crash and bail plan probably would have worked, but there was only one way where steve wouldn't have any doubts of doing everything that he could. he had to stick with it until the very last second.]

I haven't told a lot of people this, but I'm not a huge fan of the ocean now.

[He doesn't really get why the idea of Steve throwing his life away makes him so damn angry, but it does. He doesn't shout at him, but his glower does get more intense for a while.]

Good, maybe you won't do something so stupid again.

I can't make any promises about that, but I'll try not to.

[it's a joke. sort of. but steve's getting a headache himself from how tight bucky's forehead looks.]

Where are you staying?

[He does not appreciate that joke. He's going to have to do something to make sure that Steve has a way to defend himself.]

Nowhere.

[At least he can answer that honestly.]

They assigned me a bed, I gave it to someone else.

I don't sleep in mine much either.

[when steve does sleep, it's more likely to be in some common room or sitting at the kitchen counter.]

I'm thinking about having a slice of that pie. [steve tips his head in the direction of the counter.] Care to join me?

Sure. You get it, I need to head to the bathroom.

[He doesn't, he's going to go out of the window and slip away. He's got a few answers and spent as much social time as he thinks he can handle with Steve for now, and he needs to leave in a way that means he can't be followed.]

[it's not a terribly unusual request - maybe he wants to wash up. steve gives him a bit of a smile as he slides from the booth, back firmly turned to bucky as he orders the pie.

he returns with just one slice. steve stares idly out the window as he eats and then places payment on the table. all in all, it hasn't been a bad night. it's a start, and that's all he said he would ask for.]

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