starspangled | ic contact (riverview)

[He's not sure what he's expecting from that story, maybe to remember it once he's given the prompt, but he doesn't. It's still just an image on a screen at the museum to him.

He ducks his head over his coffee.]

Aren't you going to ask me why I called you?

I do wonder. [steve admits it a little awkwardly.] I trusted that you'd tell me when you were ready.

[but there's another reason too.]

I'm just glad that you did.

[His brow furrows slightly.]

Don't do that.

[Don't act glad, like he really is the old friend that Steve lost so long ago.]

I called because I have insurance against killing you now.

You want me to lie or just return to awkward silence?

[neither of which steve is actually willing to do. but he does wear the mirror image of bucky's expression when he does tell him his reason.]

You gonna tell me what it is?

Someone who can kill me if I become dangerous.

[Because he knows Steve won't do it. He remembers that perfectly, the idiot bleeding and telling him to complete his mission. He'd have probably let Bucky kill him on that helicarrier.]

I could stop you if you did.

[steve wouldn't allow him to become a danger to other people. could he kill him? probably not. but if bucky did become that kind of danger, it would be because of what hydra did to him.]

Maybe. But would you?

[He knows Steve is strong, they were pretty evenly matched when they fought before Steve found out who he was, but it's not a sure thing that Steve could stop him. Clark definitely could.]

Before I let you hurt someone else or yourself? Yeah, I would.

[for all that bucky means to him, could be called his weakness, steve wouldn't let just let him go on a rampage.]

Does it make you feel better?

[Bucky's eyes narrow, he's not stupid and he's noticed a glaring error in that reassurance.]

Before you let me hurt you?

[that gives him pause. it's not even something steve did consciously. he doesn't really think about the consequences to himself in general. maybe that's what happened here. maybe.]

Bucky, what happened on the helicarrier...it won't happen again.

You're not answering my question.

[His voice is harder, much less willing to deal with Steve dancing around the topic. Because he knows that what happened on the helicarrier could happen again in the wrong circumstances.]

[steve stares at him for a moment, searching for an answer that can diffuse the tension between them, but one that steve can also live with if it came right down to it.]

If you come at me, I promise I won't hold back.

[He's not sure if that's good enough, but it'll have to be for now, so he just nods and lets himself relax back into the seat a little in a silent reassurance that he's not going anywhere just yet.]

You asked me before to give you a chance to get to know you. That's why I'm here.

[Now that it's safer, now that he knows there's someone who'll step in if he goes for Steve or anyone else around him. His voice lowers, something a little more human appearing in the usually neutral voice.]

I don't remember, but I want to.

That's the first step.

[steve does try to hide his happiness this time. bucky's willingness can't even be called trust yet, but it at least offers a hope for it.]

Where do you want me to start? Brooklyn?

Edited 2017-04-07 00:30 (UTC)

[He shakes his head. He doesn't want to be gifted their whole life stories; partly because he still can't trust that Steve will tell him the full truth, and partly because then he'll always wonder if anything he remembers is a real memory or just wishful imagination from the stories told.]

I remember a train, and then the cold.

[He wants Steve to fill in the gaps of what he's already started to remember, or tell him if what he remembers is even real.]

[so he wants to start there. steve shouldn't be surprised. it could be his last clear memory, or maybe just one that left one hell of an impact on him.]

The day you fell. [steve staves off a grimace.] The day I thought you died. 1945, we were on a mission.

I remember telling them that you would come for me.

[He doesn't think about how much that might hurt Steve to know, it's just another fact to him.]

A few months later, they told me you died.

[it's like a physical kick to the gut. steve clenches his hand into a white-knuckled fist.]

The world thought that I had. I put a plane into the ocean, you might've read about it at the museum. [steve watches him for a moment.] I read about you too.

Yeah.

[They had made James Barnes out to be some sort of hero, resisting torture and then following his best friend until he died, but that felt wrong.]

Why did you do it?

[steve takes a breath to tell him that it wasn't there, that he'd read things in a manila folder that picked up where the museum wall left off. but that also doesn't feel right. the situation is unbalanced. bucky doesn't know enough about him yet, so he focuses on his question instead.]

Plane full of weapons of mass destruction headed for New York City. What else could I do?

Send it down, bail out.

[The reply is almost accusing, angry that Steve had thrown his life away. Why couldn't he have set the plane on course to go into the ocean and then bailed out himself?]

I had to be sure.

[the crash and bail plan probably would have worked, but there was only one way where steve wouldn't have any doubts of doing everything that he could. he had to stick with it until the very last second.]

I haven't told a lot of people this, but I'm not a huge fan of the ocean now.

[He doesn't really get why the idea of Steve throwing his life away makes him so damn angry, but it does. He doesn't shout at him, but his glower does get more intense for a while.]

Good, maybe you won't do something so stupid again.

I can't make any promises about that, but I'll try not to.

[it's a joke. sort of. but steve's getting a headache himself from how tight bucky's forehead looks.]

Where are you staying?

[He does not appreciate that joke. He's going to have to do something to make sure that Steve has a way to defend himself.]

Nowhere.

[At least he can answer that honestly.]

They assigned me a bed, I gave it to someone else.

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